Is Watching Porn a Form of Cheating?

Do you or your partner watch porn? Does the question have stipulations and is watching porn apart from your spouse a form of cheating? I recently read numerous articles about porn being unhealthy for a relationship and I must say that I totally disagree with that analysis. People get hung up on the idea of porn interfering with their spouses sex drive and is believed to be addictive for some people looking for a quick dopamine high. However I do not think porn in itself can interfere with a healthy sex life within a healthy relationship. The key word that I keep reiterating is "healthy" and what a healthy relationship looks like is completely dependent upon the people involved. What's acceptable for me in my relationship may be cause of concern within another therefore what's considered "healthy" is debatable. However I believe porn can help remedy the routine that sometimes is associated with the monotony of a long term relationship.

One of the main arguments about watching porn was that the brain doesn’t differentiate between watching a sex scene and wanting to physically act out with the person they're watching. It's suggested that if a person is watching porn then they’re lusting over someone else and their spouse loses out because they’re not their primary source of desire but is that really valid? For me watching the act of sex in no way makes me want to partake in the session I'm viewing but it does serve as the catalyst for arousal which gets me in the mood. I can't speak for everyone but for me it takes more then just the physical appearance for me to want to sleep with you. 

To further dissect the theory that porn somehow is a form of betrayal we must first ask if the idea of your spouse getting aroused by something or someone other than you is a cause of concern? For me it is not. A relationship is not a form of mind control and we are constantly in contact with things or other people we may find to be appealing.  Many things can be sources for sexual arousal for both men and women. Something as simple as reading erotic passages or an intense glances can get the juices flowing or the imagination wondering. Cheating by definition is the violation of a partners expectations that triggers an emotional feeling of betrayal. So as long as you're honest with your partner about your likes and dislikes and collaboratively discuss what you both consider to be an act of betrayal then watching a bit of porn is completely fine.


Finding Great Leadership

It's annual review season which is either dreadfully agonizing or exciting depending on if you're expecting a bonus, raise or promotion. If you're one of the lucky people who actually like their jobs and manager then you should be okay but for those who begrudgingly work for a boss they dislike then it's a toss-up. You keep up the facade for now with a smile on your face but pay close attention to these key warning signs that enables you to decipher if your job is the place stay or if you need to update your resume.

If you're working for a job that isn't horrible but your manager is then this is usually a sign of the work culture. I've been here myself and the golden rule is to look for great leadership in a company that you respect and is respectful of you and your contributions to the company. In other words make sure you like your company's leadership or hatch a plan to seek employment elsewhere. If not you'll be forced one day to find other employment because the business will eventually fail.  One of the primary reasons businesses continually miss the mark with objectives whether those goals are minor or major is its lack of  investing in their leadership staff.  Seldomly do these types of companies progress long-term and that indirectly impacts your salary because if they're not progressing then how can you? Leadership staff needs to be solid because its the foundation on which the company is built and if these individuals are incapable of adequately leading teams then they are missing a huge mark. Too often people are pushed up the ranks due to seniority instead of having to actually prove that they're capable of leading and they ultimately lose focus or motivation. How can a company expect all of it's leadership staff to possess outstanding inherent qualities if they're not willing to invest in their staff? If management is lacking the fundamental leadership characteristics then the entire team will follow suite and you are on a sinking ship.

Great leaders should possess certain characteristics that have been proven to work. In turn once the quantitative goals are set, leadership sets the tone which flows down to their respective teams who in return meets expectations while crushing objectives.  If your management staff isn't focused on driving success then the team will surely follow. Let's delve into why these traits are great motivators on driving a successful team who are fully invested in the success of the collective objective.
inherent qualities of good leadership


Detox drink and Medical Medium Suggestions for Health

A lot of people don't believe in psychics or premonitions but I am not one of those people. I believe that we all possess internal senses that can be used as a guide to lead us correctly and we're all given signs when we're veering off course. Call it instincts, clairvoyance or a host of other names but to some degree we ll are able to make assessments about our next move and the movement of others. Have doubts about that? How many times have you been driving in a lane and get a feeling that the person near you in the other lane is about to merge into your lane before you even see a turning signal? No turning signal yet you're still able to sense that you need to proceed with caution. There's no magical explanation to it... you possess instincts and those instincts are extremely useful. Some people possess more sensitivity in regards to these senses and are able to pick up on other frequencies. These individuals are what we consider clairvoyants.

I personally have not experienced any clairvoyants that helped me change trajectory in life but to be honest I haven't really been searching for one either. I just acknowledge the possibility that some can possess the ability of true insight into topics that I don't. So when I heard of a book written by a man who describes himself as a medium that helps in health matters it quickly piqued my interest. I did a bit of research online and found that he's extremely hard to get an appointment with because now his primary clientele are celebrities and to be honest, I can't hate on that. Time is precious for us all and if he's spending his time only seeing clients who only have the means to pay top dollar then so be it. Also I'm not sick or at least not that I know of but who doesn't want to ensure you're on the right path and doing the best one can to ensure optimal health? Well to some degree at least because I don't eat right 100% of the time but small steps to optimal health is what I'm striving for. In addition there are family members that I care deeply for and knowledge is wealth correct so what harm could be done by investing in a $10 book? That's what lead me to purchasing the Medical Medium by Anthony William. Most of what he writes about involves self healing from the inside out by adopting small changes in your eating habits. Also he writes about how our bodies work to heal itself and how many diseases take years to evolve and comes about from years of unhealthy choices that accumulate into ailments. Again to some degree that is something I've already believed. 

One of the topics Anthony discusses in his book Medical Medium is about the misconceptions in widely accepted diet fads. One of which I tried myself which is the consumption of diatomaceous earth clears out parasites in our intestine if drunk with water. I quickly passed on that assessment after I used it to rid my plants of fungus gnats only to notice that it caused a sticky film residue on the top of my soil which did more harm than good for my plants. I could only imagine what it was doing to my intestines. With all this said the biggest culprit for most of us is sugar and there really is no debating that on any front. Sugar is all around us and it's the largest contributor to an unhealthy lifestyle and obesity. In addition to other things I've recently adopted a quick study on myself following one suggestion from the book and it's simply to drink 16 ounces of juiced celery and cucumbers on an empty stomach first thing when I awake. I also have the rest of my family participating as well to see if we collectively notice a change. I figure drinking celery and cucumber juice is not that crazy and the health benefits alone should be worth it. My goal is to try it out for a month to see if we notice any of the associated benefits. If we notice changes then I'll keep it as a constant in our morning routine although it isn't the greatest tasting juice. 

By now you're asking yourself what are the benefits of drinking celery and cucumber juice. Well after some research there seems to be a lot of benefits and you can read up on Anthony William but below are a few of the great reasons to pick up a new healthy habit:

1) Great source of vitamins A, C, K, B9, Potassium, Copper and Magnesium. All of which are generally lacking in the modern day diet of most. I use a retinol cream which is just vitamin A for my skin so ingesting it should work wonders. I swear by my retinol cream and have been using it for years to fight acne and premature aging. Celery and cucumber juice also reduces hair loss and promotes stronger nails so if you're into a full head of hair and nail strength then it's definitely a bonus.

2) It's naturally alkaline which is a great detoxifier! We constantly hear about alkalized diets and this juice is a great way to make subtle changes to promote a balanced pH within the body. 

3) Promotes weight loss, strengthens blood vessels while assisting in controling blood pressure! 
I'll fill you guys in on more of what I read from Anthony's books. I purchased 2 so far but this was one of the suggestions that I started immediately so I had to share. 


Review: She's Gotta Have It

Watching She's Gotta Have It and although I didn't like the original I like the vibe of Nola on the Netflix version so far but some of the aspects of the show is a bit of a stretch. Mind you I'm only 4 episodes in so far but still I'm not fully sold on the reality of this fictional story. Hear me out.

How to fuck do these people with no real jobs afford to live in these massive apartments with crazy amounts of square footage in expensive ass NYC? Really like WTF??!!! That is not believable AT ALL! There are people who are similar to the characters on the story that live 5 deep in an apartment in NYC paying around $1000 each. You're trying to tell me that a struggling artist with no real job and a crazy social life can afford that apartment solo while buying $500 dresses and posting anti-harassment flyers up around Brooklyn for FREE??? Ohhhh no dice! Art supplies are expensive and so is socializing and living in the city. It's completely unbelievable and Spike had to think about that when shooting. Also the apartments they show are rather LAID! First episode we see the apartment of Nola which seems modest enough but is way larger than what a girl who is a recent graduate of Pratt can afford as a struggling artist. Then we see her metro-sexual (gay-ish) photographer sex toy's apartment and he has a nice little loft spot too with exposed brick and class enclosed bathroom.They made his character completely lack of alpha-male characteristics that in real life dude wouldn't even be checking for her sexually unless he was in need of a beard! There is absolutely no believable sexual connection between these two.NONE!

Speaking on all of her sexual liaisons because she begins with three different men and then the story cuts to her rekindling a flame with a woman so she extremely busy sexually and socially. However my one main criticism with this is that these men couldn't be more different from each other. I don't get the sense of connection between her and some of the men they've paired her with. Typically when a woman is dealing with a man, you can see different aspects of herself within the man or men she dates. With these dudes you get a egocentric karate loving photographer metro-sexual, a Brooklyn B-Boy bike messenger and a married white collar  businessman and a lesbian single parent. In real life she would be friends with the photographer, chill with the Brooklyn dude which may occasionally cross the line sexually and IF she did decide to date the businessman it would be purely as a sugar-daddy.  Now don't get me wrong because you definitely get to meet all kinds in the melting pot that is NYC but typically people stick to certain tribes. The melting pot is one of the cities most beautiful qualities but honestly speaking you tend to chill and fraternize with people who fit your personality and the show makes her out to be all over the place which isn't believable. The way she is depicted on the show is that she genuinely has some level of  interest in all the dudes she's sleeping with and I don't buy it.

None the less I'm still watching and currently I'm on episode 4. Aside from the few mentions points there are aspects of the show that I really like. Homegirl who plays Nola has absolutely flawless skin and I like the interaction between her and the Brooklyn dude. The show also slightly highlights the gentrification of Brooklyn with subtle peeks into the topic. There's two scenes in general that highlights the gentrification subject briefly. One in which a nosy neighbor who buys the adjacent brownstone ask who the "b-boy" is visiting in her neighborhood which is intended to be comical. Then there is another scene in which a white bearded waiter brings out a drink that doesn't contain top shelf liquor which is suppose to highlight how trendy little eateries are popping up everywhere. Despite the attempt, the scenes weren't really impactful enough to highlight the magnitude of how gentrification is changing the demographics of what used to be primarily black areas. Overall I'm still watching and supporting when time allows. It's not one of those shows that is must see TV but it's definitely something to watch when bored.


Women in Technology

It's my Birthday soon and as most I'm reflecting and looking forward to new and exciting experiences with the next year. This year my birthday brought me to Miami. A place where I haven't been in years and one thing that I realized is that there's a lot of money to get out here. The prices in Miami are ridiculous and there are a lot of foreigners migrating to the warmer weather and beaches that the city of Miami has to offer. It's easy to get wrapped up in the excess of it all. Let me fill you in on my festivities.

We arrived at our first hotel and was literally there for 30 minutes and within those first 30 minutes we saw 4 roaches! Not 1... not 2 but freaking 4! They moved us to another room which was considered an upgrade and within the first 30 seconds another huge water bug. This bug was HUGE so that was it for us and that hotel. It was a beautiful hotel right on the water which wasn't cheap at all but the rooms were small which would've been tolerable without the bugs. Plus I'm already paranoid staying at hotels because I have a fear of bed bugs. Really since a little girl, I've feared bugs and the thought of a bugs sucking blood from me while I'm at my most vulnerable is horrific to even think about. So we got a refund and headed off the strip to the 4 Seasons. After pulling up to the hotel and telling the doorman of our previous experience he took care of us and I do mean that literally. We booked a double bed room online but after discussing our recent experience he put us in a room with the doubles and a master suite. Okay so actually forget just the master suite, we actually had a full 2 bedroom suite with kitchen, dining room, washer dryer, foyer and 2.5 bathrooms! He even let my 7 year old pick from a toy chest and the best thing of all was the view! Oh and not a bug in sight which equated to birthday bliss for both me and my youngest daughter. Truly impeccable customer service and I now have a preferred hotel due to this one experience.

Enough about how great the Four Seasons treated me and my family during our stay. The main focus on my weekend was to determine what's next for me. As I do every year I make it a time to reflect on the previous year and lay out a chart to build upon what I've already accomplished and at times I like to include some extra help.  On October 23rd I went to a group reading class and during the group all the participants had to pull a tarot card for a mini reading. When it was my turn I pulled the "Death" card. As discouraging as it sounds the death card doesn't always mean something bad. The psychic said that what it meant for me was that I would be going through a transition or a change. Doesn't death symbolically mean change anyway??? Hopefully my change isn't going to negatively impact me but at the time nothing particular came to mind immediately in terms of change during my reading. So what I want to do is manifest the positive changes I want to see for myself and if negative changes are in the future then hopefully my positive manifestations will assist with that transition as well.

With that being said I do know that I whole-heartedly will manifest a change as it relates to what I do professionally. I want to help women discover new possibilities within the I.T. world.  In particular women of color! More women and especially women of color are needed in the I.T. world and juggling the high demands of I.T. and family. The world is changing and technology is playing a huge role in restructuring the world as we know it. The industry in itself is so vast and constantly evolving but one thing is certain, it's not a dying industry and women need to take action within it. I want to step into the arena to help guide women to understand how they can make an impact. How I will do this exactly will develop but it's where I see myself heading. It's the legacy that I want to leave and I want to make sure that I'm able to assist even if it's just bridging others together with information and resources that will help women change their financial futures and impact the industry.

There is money to be me made in this industry and women are taking larger roles in leading the household therefore their finances should also make strides to match the head of house-hold role. In addition to making more money the industry in itself can be very rewarding knowing that you're impacting the world in some form and there is no debate that technology is reshaping the world. Even during my travels I see a lot of people who change locations for work and many of them are foreigners. In Miami alone it's been reported for years that the amount of European expats who are migrating to Florida is on the rise and it's driving real estate prices up. I don't believe this will be a trend that will end soon. With technology playing a larger role in everyday life, people from all across the globe are discovering new possibilities in foreign lands and they're migrating. The world is shrinking in terms possibilities therefore when we think of the future we should all think globally and that in part is largely due to advances in technology. I want to help women understand the potential and help them focus on where they see themselves within it.


Sexism in the Workplace

It's Tuesday and my work will be short because I'm starting my birthday celebrations early so today is my Friday and it's already been a long 2 days.I cannot wait to unwind with some sand and sun but I must admit it's been unusually warm here in the north-east region. Normally it's definitely sweater weather around these parts but it's been full fledged short and flip-flop days. The mornings are the only exceptions because it's quite cold on some early mornings but it's also been drastic fluctuations of at least 20-25 degree differences between 6am to 12pm which is insane but hey... I'll take it. 
Another day, another unsettling sexual harassment accusation against the men in Hollywood. This time it's against a director named James Toback and his count just hit 38 women. The Harvey Weinstein story opened the flood gates and the stories we've since discovered due to this case are horrific and deeply worrisome. Most cases of sexual misconduct in the workplace are less overt than these which in some cases have been reported as rape! It's insane that these men felt such entitlement due to their positions but it definitely spans further than just Hollywood. There are a lot of women who have experienced some form of sexual misconduct from men in the workplace. There are tons of men in corporate America who act inappropriately and women deal with it and remain quiet due to the perceived threat of losing their jobs due to them speaking up. Who wants to be scrutinized, judged and questioned with the possibility of being labeled a problem or a trouble maker by colleagues or human resources? I know I've never reported any misconduct and I've definitely dealt with my share of inappropriate bosses and it didn't occur just once. Nor was it at one job or industry.  It's really a shame but I believe abuse of power is rampant and a widely accepted practice within many corporations. That's not to say that it's right but definitely woven into the corporate DNA.  My sister-in-law has a co-worker who has worked within a major corporation for years and she has held on to her very first employee handbook. In it the company advised women on workplace etiquette by describing how to be a better work wife to their male boss.
It wasn't unusual back then to incorporate such sexist ideals within the employee handbook. This illustration below is from a 1940's for Disney and it's filled with sexist undertones. Disney has always been a family oriented corporation so if we clearly see it laid out in a Disney employee handbook imagine those who were really dominated by men. We need more women in positions of power throughout corporate hierarchies and only then will the narrative change for women. 



Perfect Your Passion

Although we're busy in this world ensuring that we maintain the basics it's imperative that we remember to nurture our passions whatever those happen to be. Your passion may be singular or they may be many. Still the more you invest in yourself and do the things you truly enjoy, the more you will improve your well being. It's nurturing to the soul and therapeutic when you're preoccupied with task that make you happy. You in turn improve your concentration and it helps alleviate stress from other things in life that may be overwhelming.

In addition if ever you wanted to venture into a new career or have a side hustle you can transition you passion into additional income which can lead to a career overhaul.  If you're able to transition your passion into a profitable business it will take much more than just the love of your craft so be mindful of all the additional responsibilities that would be associated with trying to turn a profit. In doing so it may take the fun and satisfaction out of it. However for most it's a really rewarding way to earn an income and when there is love invested into in action the universe inadvertently rewards that effort with success but it will all take time. But whose actually tracking time when you're doing things you truly enjoy? 

If  you're interested in potentially building an income from your passion there are a few things that you must keep in mind.
  1. Build your network. Some people are very reserved when showcasing their most intimate goals and self expression but if you're contemplating earning a profit out of your passion be sure that you're setting the ground work in advance. One great way to get people talking about your skills and garner brand loyalty is to develop a social network page primarily for your craft and post frequently. You'll build your network and your also build a consumer awareness surrounding your brand.
  2. You'll need help. You wont possibly be able to know it all and do everything so it's imperative that you're able to acknowledge when it's time to outsource and delegate certain task and responsibilities to others. There are tons of resources out there for niche employees who can do your mundane task for relatively little cost. Part of the battle is recognizing when you need to outsource. It may be that you have little interest in the brunt work or that you want to optimize your time. The little task do add up and hiring someone else to delegate those task to can often make or break your motivation to continue.  
  3. Practice makes perfect! Study your craft and truly invest the time to fine tune your skill set. The more you're familiar with the nuances and small details the better equipped you'll be at setting yourself apart from the competition. 


Wendy Williams Messy Marriage

Having been a Wendy fan for years I remember the early allegations of her husbands harassment of a former employee. I've listened to Wendy on her radio show for years actually since being a teen and I remember how she is easy to dispel those who have worked for the slightness thing but it seems to be a very hard task for her to reign in her husband. He's been accused of sexually harassing an ex-employee of Wendy's (Nicole Spencer) and in addition the employee claimed that he made the workplace a hostile environment with his constant harassment and abuse of his wife. Eventually the lawsuit was settled in favor of the ex-employee for $5 million dollars but Wendy adamantly denied all allegation then similarly to how she's trying to manage them now. Clearly the pattern of behavior has been formed.

Wendy makes it very obvious through her descriptions of her husband that he is the authoritarian type but certain disrespect is beyond repair. When she and her former employer WBLS had to pay the first settlement of $5 million. I still love Wendy's show but the I'm a tough woman who takes no prisoners persona is just an act when you're disrespected in your private life. Your home life should be your first priority and having a man openly disrespect you sets a precedent for your children who watches you to build their own foundation. She never denied that he was cheating which is avoidance. She only said in her reply to the allegations that everything was good in Hunter-ville and flashed a wedding ring but what good is a ring? It's backward logic! Also a year long investigation highlights another woman living off the spoils of your success and it's a slap in the face regardless. She should have taken that "L" a long time ago because now she's in her mid 50's and settling. In addition splitting up the coins she has now versus before is a hell of a set back. Honestly I think they're both living double lives but eventually all cross-roads come to pass.  


Live In The Now- Things to do at this moment to increase your good karma

This morning during my commute into work I was listening to radio and they were discussing how people get so wrapped up in trying to get to the next level or achieve their personal goals that we often forget to enjoy the beauty of the moment. We're all constantly striving for more than what we currently have that we tend to forget to appreciate what we have now. This causes major issues for us. 

There is nothing wrong with aspiring for more. Pushing your limits is a healthy path to growth. We can actually see that in the physical form when we push ourselves past our comfort levels with physical fitness. When you repetitively push your limits, you will gradually see the physical changes to your body. Wanting to achieve and do better than you are today is a great goal. We should all have short term and long term goals. However there are rules to everything and one thing you must do to ensure that you're spirit is welcoming bigger and better is to practice appreciation for what you have already attained. Hopefully you're better off now than you were a year ago or you've experienced wins and loses along your journey and that's okay.  Sometimes we tend to overlook the present and fall short of being grateful for the wins along the path. We can be so set on what the bigger picture looks like or how we expect it to look that we miss being grateful for the beauty of today. Tomorrow isn't promised but right now you're living your perfect imperfect life. Relish in it!

Things to do right now to show appreciation and gratitude

  1. Give yourself a moment to be in the moment RIGHT NOW! Take a few slow deep breathes and tell your body and spirit how grateful you are for it's contributions to getting you here. After a few deep breathes, take your fingers and slowly rub your chest or neck and say "Thank you". Touch is a powerful thing and appreciation of your body with your own touch stimulates positive vibes in the same way that it does when you're skin is stroked lovingly by someone else.   
  2. Smile! Smiling instantly boost your mood and it also encourages others to feel better and to think more highly of you. If you're one of those people who are constantly told "you're always smiling" be proud of that. I'm sure that smile has gotten you further than you're aware of. People want to include you in things because you appear to be more easy going. No one wants a combative person around them draining their energy. Your smile is your calling card to the world that you're happy and present in the moment. Let your smile works it's magic internally and externally so get to smiling.
  3. Slow down a take a few minutes to say a little "thank you" to your creator and the universe for this exact moment. You thanked yourself now thank the unseen for the things you're unaware of that's working in your favor spiritually.
  4.  Express gratitude and appreciation for someone who is helping you now. In addition do something small to assist someone else right now because someone is assisting you right now. It may not huge but subtle expressions of gratitude are still gratitude.Make sure that you tell that person helping you that you're gracious and appreciative for their assistance. Make sure you're doing little things too throughout the day to assist others in small ways or large if you're up to it.  As you give, so shall you receive. It's the universal law of karma.  


How Disney's Garden Inspired Me

I am definitely a novice at this gardening stuff but after success with my small little garden growing tomatoes, lettuce and a few other small herbs and veggies my interest has grown.That inspiration to do more with my gardening piqued when I visited Disney with my family a few weeks ago. My 7 year old daughter performed along with her dance academy at Disney and all the women in my family traveled to support her. In attendance was my grandmother who is almost 90 (pictured with my mother and children here) went on all the rides we could together but there were limits. My grandmother wanted to go on every ride that she possibly could so we made sure to do slow moving simple rides and I'm glad that we did. I would have never gone on the slower less action packed rides without her presence. During our Epcot day we went on a ride called Living with the Land and the name alone grabbed my attention but it's definitely one of those rides I wouldn't have gone on if it weren't for my grandmother and the unbearable heat. Never-the-less the ride had no wait and it was a sit down ride which accommodating wheelchair riders and it completely blew my novice gardening mind. I was blown away by all the usage of the space and the amount of vegetation they were able to grow in what seemed like a confined space. In addition to the space utilization, they also used sand instead of dirt and had rows of piping for their hydroponic vegetable garden which I've never heard of before. Again my mind was blown and I was immediately intrigued. Their vegetables were abundant, full and extremely vibrant which I only thought could be achieved through dirt and soil gardening. After doing a bit of research I decided to give it a go and purchased a small hydroponic system to use during the winter months here in the North East.

Hydroponic systems are great for indoor use and really maximizes small spaces. I purchased small florescent lights, a grow tent and pH controllers so monitor the system because one of the biggest drawbacks is root rot. I'm trying to avoid root rot and any pest that attack my harvest and naturally an optimal pH is what's best to assist with my overall goal. One thing that kept coming up during my search is that most people use this same method to grow indoor weed gardens so if you're into that and it's legal in your state it's a great little gem to get you started. Don't say I didn't look out for you.

Hydroponic systems also expedite growth so you're able to produce more plants at a faster rate. You're also able to control the nutrients of the plants being that it's all administer by you through the water. Since your plants aren't getting the nutrients from soil, then it's completely up to you how nourished your garden will be. Being that you're able to control the nutrients and there is no dirt the roots get more oxygen and the oxygen expedites the vegetation's growth and maturity. Your garden is also pesticide free which is healthier for you. Also there are no weeds to prune unless you're growing weed (HA) intentionally. If you've ever been on the fence about growing a garden to ensure what you're eating is healthy then there is no better time then the present to jump on it. Happy growing and I'll be posting my progress shortly.


Weekend TV Recap

So much has happened over the weekend to chat about so let's start with the fight. I grew up watching boxing. My father was a boxer and he would take me with him to the gym so I totally get boxing as a sport but I prefer brawling instead of boxing and Mayweather is a boxer. Brawler he is not! The reason Mike Tyson was so entertaining during his matches was the anticipation of actually seeing a brawl and a knock out. The average person doesn't watch boxing to appreciate the technique of the boxer therefore Mayweather fights are a bit lack luster. Still I like getting together with good company. That's always the added bonus.

GOT is over and I feel cheated that I have to wait another year and a half to see the rest! Last episode was a true cliff hanger with them finally revealing that Jon is the true rightful ruler but now he's slept with his aunt. How are they going to work that little conundrum out? "Oh.. so you're my auntie??? That sucks!" Then they set us up with that question he asked Dany about her not being able to have kids in addition to tying that into Tyrion's chat about a successor I'm putting 2 and 2 together with a guess that she's going to be pregnant during the final season after she finds out she's slept with her nephew. Also will she want to kill him them knowing that she will never be the rightful ruler or will they just throw caution to the wind, marry and reign together on their two dragons?

I know that I say it every time I speak about GOT but I love Arya. She's the family HITTER!!!! She just casually waited for Sansa to give the word and slit Littlefinger's throat in front of the entire room with no care in the world and then dipped back over to the side. I'm sure she's going to take his face after they've all left. LOL  Also she cleared the air with her sister about wanting to be the "lady of Winterfell" letting her know that playing dress up and having power is not her thing because she already has power knowing she can skillfully kill the whole damn village if she wanted to.
Was I the only one who was unaware of the Hound's sibling relationship with Sir Gregor??? I honestly thought that Sir Gregor was a monster that was half dead until my daughter told me the back story regarding them. Side note: the Hound was a bit proud when Brienne of Tarth told him that little Arya was alive and slaying shit. I'm looking forward to their reunion. Also speaking of Brienne, Cersi was definitely peeping "the friendliness" she had with her lover/brother Jaime. Nothing gets past the queen and I personally don't think that Tyrion will be the one to kill Cersi. I totally think it's going to be Jaime as the prophecy only said it would be a brother. What good is having power and being able to see things if Bran isn't really utilizing that power to the fullest? My final comments on the finale is that I hope Jamie makes it to meet back up with Tyrion. He loves his brother and I feel sorry for Tyrion for having to choose between his family whom he clearly loves and everything else. At least the 2 of them will be together for a short while potentially. Also was Tyrion a little hurt when he saw Jon enter Dany's room??? I didn't understand that one. He knew they would get together so I'm not understanding how that just threw a wrench in his plans and from the look on his face he definitely felt a ways about them hooking up.

Insecure- Love Issa and I did love Molly but now that Molly's sleeping with the married neighbor I'm not
feeling her. I love "boss" Molly and I'm totally not feeling I'm thirsty to be loved and will take anything Molly. In addition, I'm not feeling Issa's need to want to sleep with randoms just for the sake of sleeping with randoms either. Daniel really likes her and she's shading him yet again. One of the most significant lessons we all learn or should learn in life is to like those who like you and Daniel likes Issa. She will never be happy trying to chase down insignificant people or trying to force a narrative which clearly isn't authentic and too many people make those mistakes in real life. I hope they don't push these girls to be that type because the show will become whack and not entertaining because it's just reinforcing a misguided approach to finding love. But back to the humor in last nights episode... I love the nut in the eye scene. It was funny and I chuckled but still I was a bit disappointed in how they're steering the characters. Hope it changes up soon and it stops being so cliche.


Sunday Show Recap: Insecure, GOT and Power

All of my favorites shows are on Sunday. You have Power, Game of Thrones, and Insecure all in the same damn night and it's a beautiful couch potato experience. I finish up everything I need to do before 8 and then grab food and relax. Plus it takes my mind off of what I need to do starting Monday morning.

Highlight of the night for me as with other GOT fans was the infamous battle and the fact that Arya finally made it back to Winterfell after she's been assumed dead for so long. Her reconciliation with her family and her home was brilliant and I cannot wait to see what tricks she has up her sleeve for Littlefinger. Her fight scene with  Brienne was all kinds girl power dope-ness! Especially when Brienne it was visible that Brienne was feeling the pressure and gave little Arya a stiff kick (which btw looked like a men's size 15! I was like damn Gina... look at those feet!) and when it looked as though Arya was defeated by the kick, she hoped up as only Arya can to finish the job.

Another little suggestion the scene gave us may be Arya's next victim. She's definitely going to have drama with Littlefinger, which seemed all types of impressed by Arya's display of swordsmanship. I cannot wait for that fight! Well fight may be too strong of a word because Arya uses her brain and skills learned from the Many Faced God to defeat her opponents. Also notice how Arya mentioned her list and then the brother mentioned that Cersei was on the list of kills Sansa had nothing to say? They've been hinting throughout the entire season that Sansa has some weird admiration for Cersei and my prediction for that story line is that Sansa is going to go Rouge and somehow align herself with Cersei which is why Bran has little to say to her being that he's all knowing now. His interaction with Arya was more engaging then his interaction with Sansa since he's been back. 

Now on to Power. I'm so glad that they finally concluded Fifty Cents role in that series although they did leave his return an option I'm so happy he's done for now. He was really like a cat with his 9 lives on the show. I don't like how they're playing Tariq's character out to be a complete traitor to his family after discovering that all of the adults in his life has some dirt on them he still chooses to side with Kanan's character when he says he's not afraid of him. That will somehow be Kanan's way back into the show now that they're making Tariq all strung out on drugs.  

As for the lawyer Joe Proctor, I hope they keep him on as a long lived character. I like him and his life story adds a bit of unsuspected drama as he now is an accomplice in a murder and his wife is a junkie and he's way over his head but he's definitely handling it well in spite of all the pressure. 

Mike is just becoming too reckless with him trying to kill any and everyone who suspects him. He's going to get caught up soon especially now that all of the DA's are aware that he planted the gun. I'm not feeling Tasha's new found love interest. He was a bit of a shake from the beginning and adding him in as a love interest is just not siting well for me. He definitely would not be able to handle Tasha and I feel they're trying to make her too susceptible to her lust for any man which comes across as a weakness. Which I feel is a conflict in the character because Tasha is far from weak and wouldn't just bed hop if she was really that strong of a woman which her character seems to be. 

Insecure was okay. I wish it were a full hour though. I love Issa and her girls. Again I don't like that they're making her out to be so pressed for sex right now but I guess it's believable. But who the hell goes on Tinder to find a man if you're heterosexual??? That's just not believable to me. I thought it was a horrible choice. Why not just have her hook up with an ex or someone random on her Facebook that she actually knows. Really do women use Tinder to find hook-ups??? Seems a bit desperate and for women it's not normally that hard to find a man who you actually are familiar with to casually hook-up with or is that just me and my circle?
On another note I like Tasha from Insecure. She likes Lawrence but she's not down to take his shit as gospeleither. This reflection of how women can get too invested into the wrong dude is a realistic representation in my opinion but luckily they're not making out to be a dummy who falls for any ole thing either. As for Molly I would love to see her have a boyfriend who matches her hustle. That's the ideal man for her with his life goals. :)


Who doesn't love free stuff

Nothing taste the same anymore. I don't normally eat breakfast but today I was in the mood for a few french toast sticks from Burger King so I picked up the 3 french toast for $1, just to satisfy the craving and I grabbed an orange juice and I swear the OJ taste like medicine that I was forced to take as a child. Only difference is now I'm paying for the gross mess and it's camouflaged as orange juice. I've never tasted an orange that taste like medicine but for some odd reason people allow themselves to drink that potion of chemicals because the box says it's orange juice. I'm never getting that mess again. I'd rather eat an orange.

Okay... now after my rant about my messed up breakfast I have some good news to share. Tomorrow Saturday July 29th is National Lipstick Day and MAC is giving away FREE LIPSTICK! OMG... let me say it again. MAC is giving away a free lipstick to all who stop by either a counter or a free standing store while supplies last so get there in the morning as soon as Nordstrom's or Macy's opens their doors. The selections is from MAC's basic line of lipsticks but still that's no issue because who couldn't use a matte color nude to add to their arsenal especially if it's FREE! Just in case you're not sure which to choose go for a color that you were debating because of brightness because this is the time to commit. You won't feel that you've wasted money on a whim because it's free and if you're looking for recommendations then my favorite colors that I feel looks great on everyone no matter your skintone are Ruby Woo and Candy Yum Yum. Both of which are super bright but ohhhh soooo cute on and goes with anything. Ruby Woo is a matte red and has been my absolute favorite lipstick for years. Candy Yum Yum is a bright bold pink and it too is a great bold color that transitions well with varying styles. I've had this debate with people often who doubt their ability to wear a bright red lipstick without looking clownish and when they've tried it they loved it.

The picture here is my desk and my make-up bag with Ruby Woo which is always in my bag. Even if I'm not carrying a make-up bag I still carry a bold lipstick and black mascara and liner because you can create a look with eyes and lips no matter what. True story... my sister-inlaw who may read this (heyyy SIS) doubted for about a good year if she could wear Ruby Woo because it was "too bright" to which my reply was always for her to just try it out. It's a matte so it's not as dramatic as you would think and still she would say no. Well about a year later while scrolling through Facebook, I saw a picture of you know who wearing a bright bold red lipstick a immediately I commented with "RUBY WOO" and she replied "YESSS". Only took about a year of convincing though but she loves it and I'm sure if you're one of those girls on the fence about a bright red you'll love it too. It looks excellent with denim and can carry you from the office to happy hour and if applied right you wont even need a lip liner so go for it if you're in doubt tomorrow. Either way hope you all are able to score your free lipstick and make sure you share and post your picture as a reply to this post.


Let's Clean House... Smudging

Be careful where you plant roots because places like people have energy and vibrations associated with them. Energy is at the core of everything around  us which includes your space and also your body. However we all radiate at different levels which in turn is labeled our vibration. We tend to absorb the energy levels of those we're around and structural spaces are no different. We are all collectors of energy and vibrate off of those we encounter therefore if you're space has a negative vibration you will be impacted by those negative vibrations as well. Have you ever been in a room and the "Debbie downer" walks in and changes the entire feeling? Or a better scenario would be your work environment. Every work space has a collective vibe and when you're immersed in it your energy is either in sync with it or you're completely out of tune which in turns makes you not really feel welcomed. Now you know it's not you but actually your vibration that's not in sync which either makes you alter your vibration to fit in or you continue on but you're never really comfortable being there.

You can't really control or alter the energy at work because it's a collective experience in which you can only add  but when it comes to places you can control like your home you can cleanse the space of all negative energy and start anew. The same can be said for ourselves.If you want a change in your life you can cleanse your vibration and redirect your path in doing so. Meditation is a good way to cleanse our personal vibration and redirect your energy to a more positive level. It's also beneficial to practice raising your vibration to assist in redistributing that higher vibration to your personal space so that you're at peace when in your home. However I would suggest that you cleanse your personal space with a good smudging.


Power, GOT and Insure CHAT.. come get it!

Sunday night television is my absolute FAVORITE night now that all my shows are on during the same evening. Last nights premier of season 2 of Insecure was GOOD. It was great to catch up on the Issa / Lawrence saga as we've all been through it at one point or another so viewers can relate to it for now. Hopefully they don't play it out the entire season leaving it as another cliff hanger because that would be corny and I would completely loose interest but let me not jump the gun. It's just the girly side of me that wishes to see everything happen all at once pertaining to how their relationship will play out. None-the-less I loved the show and I love her friends. Sooo cute they were and the most relevant part for me was when Molly found out that her male co-worker made more than her. As a woman in corporate America I was all in my feelings about this mess. I've worked with a few men which were not worth the space and were being paid insanely simply because they were in the boys club but really will that ever change? For me it's even more baffling because I've primarily worked in the beauty industry where the consumers are primarily women but surprisingly the higher up you go on the food chain women in power are less and less. It's really a shame because I've witnessed men feel threatened by women in higher positions before and just recently I witness a man go the extra mile to get a woman fired. We as women just need to keep on pressing on with the good fight because eventually the tides will change as more and more women out perform men in industries.

The Game of Thrones episode was a bit slow last night but still overall good towards the end. I'm not going to spoil it too much if you haven't seen it yet but let me just say a dog never changes it's spots. Once a coward always a coward but really what would you have done in that situation? I like how they're lining up Jon to meet with Daenerys but he should've killed Littlefinger because that's going to be a huge problem for him. In my opinion they're going to have Littlefinger get into Sansa's head and being that they hinted at her admiration for Cersai, I think they're going to join forces somehow as Sansa tries to keep the kingdom for herself forcing Jon to align with Daenerys although that's going to occur no matter how they play it out. Just my thoughts though because they're making Sansa a little Cersai clone and I don't think it's accidental. If you read my recaps then you'll know that Arya is my favorite character and I think she may be the one to kill her sister BUT that's a big reach. It will definitely have to be something huge to drive her to kill Sansa but we all know Arya is about that life!!! Love her! However I didn't get the reason they brought back her wolf last night.  That wolf was huge too but it turned it's back on her but didn't eat her so that's a plus. LOL


Game of Thrones Season 7 Premier Chat

Season 7 of the Game of Thrones started out with a huge bang and I loved every minute of it.  My daughter thinks that I'm crazy because I love Arya Stark is my absolute favorite character and is the main reason why I watch the show. She's only suppose to be 17 in season 7 but she's grown to full on bad ass and I love it!
Loyalty to those who are loyal to you is an asset that many don't possess and to see her undying loyalty to her family and her fallen friends is beyond unwavering and that's why I love her. Unlike her sister is just in awe of people in power and super girly. When Jon said to her that she sounds like she's in awe of Cersei Lannister he hit the nail on the head because she's always been hypnotized by the Lannister family and let us not forget that she's actually still married to Tyrion Lannister so technically she is a Lannister which I hope doesn't play into this seasons mess. I don't really want her to die but I don't really like her character at all and I do feel that she's going to somehow be at odds with her family when they all reconnect.
As a special bonus was anyone else shocked when they saw Ed Sheeran on the season 7 premier with my favorite character? I wonder how they're going to lead in with his character during this season. The way he was introduced seemed as though he would just be a plug in character for this scene but I doubt that's going to be the last that we see of him.


Patiently Waiting For Insecure's Return

With all BS shows that's been on lately with the exception of Power I am patiently awaiting the return of Insecure on HBO. Actually I'm awaiting both Insecure and Game of Thrones to give me LIFE this month.

The girls are finally back! Insecure had me feeling all types of ways during their season finale last summer and I've been eagerly anticipating if Lawrence is going to stick it out with his rebound Tasha, forgive Issa or try to juggle both.  Hell if Lawrence is laying down peen like he did that final episode Tasha may not want to let ole Lawrence be a drive by and she just may be in it for the long haul.  From the looks of the sneak peek seems that they're going to drag out their reconciliation if there is one because they suggest that Daniel is still a possibility so it may not go how we envision. Either way I'm here for it and I'll be watching with my popcorn for my 30 minute fix. I wish they made it an hour long but I'll take those 30 minutes with a smile.

For those of you like me who want a little teaser of what this next season will bring catch the sneak peak below and catch the first episode of season two on July 23rd at 10:30.

Insecure S2 Trailer

Game of Thrones will also be returning this Sunday for a short 7 weeks as they stretch out the final 2 seasons but Winter is definitely HERE! I'm sure the entire season will be action packed with lots of deaths of the remaining cast because someone has to sit upon that iron throne. Although I really couldn't stand Sansa Stark she's grown on me in this last season because she's growing as a character but I wouldn't mind Arya Stark harboring resentment towards her older sister who wasn't really that caring to her when they were together. Little Arya Stark is by far my favorite character because she's grown to be a stone-cold killer with her little sword and tricks. She has an ax to grind and she's putting in work to avenge her family!

I'm not really sure how they're going to keep Olenna Tyrell in the equation being that her entire family has been killed off and she's old. I see her giving her allegiance to Daenerys Targaryen and Tyrion to kill Cersei but really what does Cersei have to loose now outside of her kingdom. She's been heartless but she did love her children which are all dead too so what's her motivation? Jaime will be split between Tyrion and Cersei so my guess is he may finally be forced to kill one of them to keep his position of power. My guess is that he's drive the stake through Cersei's heart sometime in the near future because she'll blame him for not protecting their children and he won't have a major role in her kingdom.

Then there is Jon Snow! How oh how will they play the Jon Snow and Daenerys situation out? Are they actually related? Will they join forces? Will they marry??? All possibilities and either way I think I'll be happy because they are undoubtedly the two main characters of the series but who will be the rightful heir to the throne? My bets on Jon. How about you?


Wendy Williams Get's No Pass!

I love Wendy Williams SOMETIME but at times I think she's the epitome of a sellout to the culture that has made her famous. There has been countless times that I've watched her and has seen contradictory behavior that she is trying to masterfully use to keep a hybrid audience but it's a bit too much when she belittles those from the culture that has gotten her to the platform.

Watching the segment of her discuss Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna had me a bit upset at her trying to make it seem as though the Kardashian's are somehow above Blac Chyna. They are ALL cut from the same cloth that is hoe-dom. The Kardashian's became famous due to Kim's sex tape and they've been exploiting sexual deviant behavior ever sense and have become rich off of it and they get a pass? Not in my book! It's the same sexual exploitation that Chyna was known for and it's no different and they all live by the same code so trying to make it seem as though they are somehow not "thot-ish" themselves. She needs to have several seats with that backwards ass logic!


NYC Crazies! Not all but SOME

My daughter and I were having a conversation about her hair stylist who moved to NYC from Texas and hates it and the conversation actually got me wondering if people from the NYC area are really desensitized by their environment? I've had my own crazy ass encounters in NYC but to be honest I didn't really think too much of it because I figured it was normal. But hearing this young mans experiences made me really wonder if it's us who are the abnormal ones? Let me explain.

My daughter's hair stylist is a man about to turn 30 and he stated that he never used the subway in NYC because he always seems to witness something disturbing or experienced it himself. Over the weekend he stated that his mother came from Texas to visit and they took the subway and immediately she witnessed a homeless man and another passenger get into a fist fight on the train and she was disturbed that no one attempted to break it up with the exception of herself. As the two men fought they said no one even acknowledged that there was a problem therefore she intervened tearfully to break up the fight and was so distraught that she left NYC early and vowed that she would never return. He also mentioned that none of his friends from Texas want to come here but they have visited him when he lived in California for a two year stint. In addition to that he himself was previously chased out of the subway by a homeless man who had asked him for money and after he denied the man he was verbally assaulted and chased. All of this was comical to me because I believe that native New Yorker's can sense when you're not from the city and will attempt to use that to their advantage and at times they become hostile until you're aggressive back with them and for the most part it's not exclusive to the homeless population. NYC has it's share of crazy ass regular folks and millionaires as well. All awaiting the zombie apocalypse to turn them into flesh eaters. Some are already walking Zombies minus the flesh eating part.  

I've also had situations in NY but I've chalked those up to they typical nut jobs that you encounter in the city. Once I was exiting a restaurant with a group of friends and this homeless man pointed me out and then immediately whipped out his Johnson and began to masturbate while attempting to tell me his fantasies. A few feet away there happen to be a police van with two officers inside so I approached their van and asked them to intervene and without even cracking their window they told me to go about my business because I was the one creating the sense. I was more offended by their response then the homeless man jerking off a few feet away because of their dismissive attitude as though I was bothering them. Later I found a few women who also had the same experience with said homeless guy while exiting the same restaurant and we had a chuckle but still it was offensive. 

A few years later I had a man trail me in his car as I walked down busy 7th Ave jerking off too and he became upset when I started yelling at him to stop. Let's not forget the fact that there were tons of people also walking because this part of 7th Ave. is really close to Time Square and it was the middle of the day. But again these types of occurrences are actually normal in this area. You really never know what type of crazy you'll experience at any given moment but I just assumed most people encounter crazies but I guess I was wrong with that assumption. I could go on and on with weirdo shit I've seen or experienced in the city but everyone that I know who frequently goes into NY or live in NY have all had their share of crazy experiences but there is no one that I know who has been emotionally scared due to any of them. Does that make us all a bit of crazy?? Maybe! 


Jay-Z 4:44 Review

I  LOVE Jay's new album. "what's better than 1 billionaire? 2 Especially when they from the same HUE as YOU!!!"- Family Feud

He's dropping all kinds of jewels on this album and it's definitely the male equivalent to Beyonce's Lemonade. "No body wins when the family Feud's... we all hurting because we never had the tools" is just one line that speaks directly to African American community as he proceeds to outline how we can build our families by building ourselves up financially to promote growth within the culture for ourselves. He even when as far to say he's trying to give you real financial advise for $9.99 while speaking on some of the mistakes he's made in his career by not being more concerned early on about investing. He speaks of supporting black products when he says he drinks Ciroc by Puffy instead of supporting a business by people who don't care to invest in the culture. It's a hard lesson that African American's are now being forced to learn because we've been programmed not to support each other for so long but it's changing for the better.

He also spoke on things in small detail pertaining to the speculated indiscretions within his marriage, the infamous "Becky" and also Kanye. In the song titled Kill Jay Z he's revealing his inner struggles of living up to a persona that is Jay Z and closes the song saying bye to that persona in search of becoming a better version of himself. He mentioned that he was hurt after and felt betrayed after the infamous Kanye rant. He even made a reference to the Future and the ordeal that played out with Ciara that was to close for comfort because of the possibility of him potentially loosing his own family and having to idly sit by watching another man play football with his son as in Ciara with Russell Wilson. Side note: isn't is funny that everyone including other celebrities are just as wrapped up in watching other peoples drama unfold as we are? It's astonishing how so many people had such strong opinions about Ciara allowing her son to bond with her now husband Russell Wilson.

He has a song dedicated to his mother titled Smile in which he referenced his mother's gay union openly for the first time. The acknowledgement that he was just proud that his mother found true love after living her life hidden from society was accompanied by his mom closing the song with her reading a poem related to her life experiences as a lesbian. He speaks on black culture in Family Feud which is my favorite song because the family he's referencing is the culture and it's all FACTS. Take care of family first because that culture is really being attacked daily. We see it on the news damn near hourly about another disrespectful act to someone with black skin. Throughout the album he mentions multiple times how financial freedom is what we must strive to accomplish. He referenced Dumbo Brooklyn and how he was buying frivolous things early on in his career instead of  things that would appreciate in value such as real estate.

You'll also hear throughout the album not so subliminal messages to the culture which plays as the theme to this album and it's one of the reasons why I feel this is one of his best works to date. He's a man speaking about his views on family, the culture, finances and his awakening sense of pride and maturity and it's a beautiful thing witness.


Puffy on the Wendy Williams Show

This is truly a milestone moment between Wendy and Puffy with all their tumultuous past. If you're from NYC or familiar with Wendy then you know she gained her notoriety in hip hop music talking real greasy about people and one of the most infamous stories was about Puffy but from the looks of it, it's all water under the bridge now and it's a beautiful thing to witness. As you watch this though you can sort of feel the uneasiness with him coming out and was planning to hide behind the sunglasses but Wendy peeped that and asked him to take them off so she could look in his eyes. NOW even though the interview seemed sort of intense you could tell there was respect between the two of them. I believe that respect was due to what sparked both of their successes and that's the culture that is hip hop. Both have decades within that industry and we've all witness that game suck them in and spit them out and at times some have come unhinged during the process so the respect is definitely understandable. If you haven't seen it then watch for yourself below.

Once upon a time I LOVED Wendy's radio show but it took me some time to get accustom to her television presence because it really was not the same to me. In my opinion she wasn't as RAW as she was on the radio but I get it. Television is a cross over market and she needed to portray a certain image but to be completely honest I felt that it was a watered down sellout move so I didn't watch her show until 2017. She made comments and played on race in the past that I didn't agree with but as a whole I believe her intentions have somehow redirected itself back to her core (a tad bit) and I get it. She's also a woman of a certain age therefore that peeks through too so I take what she has to give and I enjoy none-the-less because at the end of the day we're all chasing a check to some degree. GET THAT MONEY!


BET Acceptance Speech Solange and Yara

Two more honorees from last nights BET awards that I absolutely ADORE were Solange and Yara Shahidi. Cranes in The Sky was definitely a BANGER and so worthy of the award. I love how Solange has carved a lane for her creativity outside of the shadows of Beyonce as we've seen historically that it's difficult to do when you have a sibling who is a mega star. I can only think of one younger sibling who successfully carved their own niche musically and wasn't constantly compared to their sibling and that was Janet Jackson.

And my admiration for Yara is due to the fact that my daughters have a young girl who is intelligent to watch  who looks like them and isn't controversial. I absolutely loved her acceptance speech and I love watching Black-ish with my girls.

Chance The Rapper won BET's Humanitarian Award

I'm not really into who's who in the new era of Rap music but I have heard of Chance the Rapper primarily for his extraordinary contribution and charity work. He donated $1 million to Chicago's public schools and he's also raised another $2.2 million additional funds and have announced his plan to bring arts programs with his Chance Arts and Literature Fund for Chicago's public schools.  All his hard work and efforts haven't gone unnoticed and last night Chance was awarded the BET Humanitarian Award and surprised with a video from Michelle Obama who congratulated Chance for his unwavering support of Chicago's youth. During the former first lady's speech she noted that she and Barack have known Chance's family for years as both families are from Chicago.

How great a feeling it must be to make such an impact at such a young age. In his acceptance speech Chance highlighted that he's only 24 years old and he has no plans of stopping.  Congrats to him and his family who must be beaming with pride right now.


The Playoff's and Father's Day

I'm not a sports fan but I did watch the final 4 minutes of the Playoff's last night to see if the Golden State Warriors would win this year and I went to sleep happy. I remember last year believing it was all in the bag and then The Cavalier's came back from a 3 game loss and took the ring. At least that's what I recall but I may be wrong because again... I only watch the last few minutes of the last game to see who wins and I only care because I like the Curry family. I've always thought Steph seems to be a real great husband and father and I love Ayesha too. However the biggest star and the reason I have any interest at all is due to little Riley. Riley is sooo full of life every time she's on screen I get a kick out of her and I love how close knit all of the in-laws appear to be as well. Just a great overall happy family and that's a beautiful thing. Winning the Playoff's is definitely a great way to start out Father's Day for Steph.

Father's day is coming up in a few days and I have absolutely no clue what to buy my husband so I'll stick with the usual... clothes!  The weather here in NJ is finally starting to change after a long stint of cooler temperatures and my husband absolutely hates shopping for clothes so I do what I do best and that's shop away. He needs some summer outfits and my youngest daughter would kill me if she didn't have anything to give her dad so I hit the internet for some summer slides, sneakers, shorts and shirts. 3 whole new outfits to be exact and I made sure to try to get him casual stuff that will carry over to next year. We'll see how that goes over plus I may book a weekend little overnight stay somewhere to get out the house. That's usually my next go to hitter. LOL Hope your weekend is great and happy Father's Day to all the great dads out there.


Teen Vogue's Editor Elaine Welteroth Leading By Example

I must admit that I definitely LOVE to see women shatter ceilings and excelling in their careers but I definitely cheer on women of color who shatter glass ceilings. I know first hand how difficult it could be in corporate America for a woman of color. I especially love to see any woman standing up to the establishment and not conforming to what's expected of her so when I read in Page Six that Teen Vogue's editor Elaine Welteroth decided to skip the Met Gala and attended an event labeled "Not the Met" I was immediately interested in discovering more about Ms. Welteroth. The Met is definitely an event full of what should be considered her peers especially being that it's thrown by her colleague Anna Wintour of Vogue fame. I would definitely consider the two magazines sister brands with different demographics but sisters none the less.  One however is leading the way on highlighting social issues that will shape our tomorrow.

After doing a bit of digging online it became clear that Ms. Weltroth is indeed paving a path of her own which includes revamping the image of  Teen Vogue to include more socially conscious topics and stories that include more women of color. The magazine recently posted a piece on how to avoid Cultural Appropriation at Coachella which highlights the sensitivity that people feel when they see elements of their culture exploited and distorted in the form of a fashionable trend and then discarded. (You may read the article here: coachella-cultural-appropriation)

Teen Vogue is taking the lead in spearheading the change in mindset of teen girls. They are definitely doing their part in planting the activism seed within our youth so they are aware of how their actions and voice impacts our nation and social climate. Teen Vogue is definitely inspiring teens to be the change they want to see in life. Below is a clip from Teen Vogue's YouTube channel where they address a multitude of cultural topics as well as the traditional fashion and pop-culture, spreading awareness to issues that plague the nation currently. Personally I applaud their effort and I'm personally inspired by the evolution of Teen Vogue and Elaine Welteroth.


Naturi Naughton and Adrienne Houghton address their past issues

Naturi Naughton made an appearance on The Real and Adrienne Houghton apologized to her for their 3LW hostile past relationship. Being that the girls are from NJ it was definitely news worthy back then when the drama occurred during which Naturi claimed that she was constantly bullied to the point where she left the group because she felt they were hostile because she was the darker skinned member. She also claimed that she had a physical altercation with Kiely the other member of the group and that both Kiely and Adrienne would call her names and although she didn't go into details during her present day interview, there are definitely tapes of her addressing the accusations back then. You can hear the full Wendy Williams interview below.

Well the current version is all water under the bridge for them but it did ultimately lead to 3LW dismantling and the remaining 2 becoming the Cheetah Girls for Disney but we can all agree that Naturi definitely landed on her feet in recent years. All hard works pays off because her character Tasha on the hit show Power which airs on Starz will further her career. She is now happy, pregnant and she recently purchased a $1million dollar apartment in NYC which is a big deal.

Here's the original radio interview from Wendy's radio show on WBLS.


Confidence is the most attractive quality within a person

If you're not your own biggest fan then you're doing yourself a disservice. Self love is the absolute best thing you can ever do for yourself. When you love yourself it radiates outwards and people see it. Some describe it as vanity but don't get it twisted... self love and being self absorbed are two different things entirely. When one is self absorbed they find it impossible to be happy for others and requires limitless praise from others. Where as self love is all about how deeply you love yourself and it dictates what you'll accept from those who you share your time and there is a difference. When you have abundance of self-love you require those who you share your life with to treat you in a certain manner.  You respect yourself, you give respect and will expect nothing less. You have no problem celebrating others accomplishments because you know blessings are abundant. When you completely love yourself you don't allow others to degrade or belittle you because you know your self worth and at your core you won't be able to tolerate it. Have you ever heard someone say that the most attractive quality a person can have is CONFIDENCE? Well it's true and there are a lot of factors that go into building that confidence level within yourself. Also if you're not confident in your own skin and actions, no one else will be either which goes hand in hand with how people treat you.

What if I told you that your life was a creation of your own mind and that it was all an illusion that you controlled? If you knew that to be true you would immediately start down a new path and do things differently. Well to be honest, your life is completely up to you and all things in it are a part of your control and if you love yourself  you will treat yourself, your time and others with love and respect. It's entirely that simple! The trick is to have the confidence that radiates from within to accomplish all that you wish.

Speaking of wishes, we all have things we wish to improve upon. Growth is the core objective in this life we live and we should all be in a constant state of growth and loving yourself leads you to nurture your mind, body and spirit so that you're growing. I love myself! I've worked hard to nurture myself to live the life I live today with the people that I constantly surround myself with. I prune my own weeds so that my garden is healthy. What do I mean by that exactly? Let's explore simple ways to build your self-confidence so that you can love and be loved abundantly.