Build your self esteem and self confidence!!!

Too many people confuse self esteem with self confidence and they are completely different concepts. However both have great importance on how we navigate through the world and our successes. Self-confidence tends to be easier to build because it is codependent on you ability to achieve certain goals and tasks. Being self confident leads to successful experiences and your motivation to pursue certain goals and your ability to achieving those goals are related to your own self confidence. You believed that you could therefore you did is a perfect example of this. It's easy to build self confidence in children from an early age by pushing them (with minor guidance) to achieve task that they thought were difficult and acknowledging their growth and successful completion. It's a integral part of parenting! It's also important for you to continue to strengthen your own self confidence because as we grow and settle into life we tend to push ourselves less. We tell ourselves things like "what's the point in learning (enter whatever here) because we already do (enter what you do here). In my profession as an IT Manger I often witness this when a company introduces new technology. Constantly people don't even step up to the plate to learn something new and put forth no effort at all which is detrimental to your continued success and growth. Yet the same person will complain about how they never have enough money or they wish they were better off in their jobs. HOW?!?! Stop wishing and take steps to start doing and you'll get there or at least closer to your goals than you would get by doing nothing! Totally step out of your comfort zone and start experiencing things that are challenging to you.

Then there is self esteem which is the belief in your overall worth. In regards to self esteem it's totally a a self defeating or self achieving goal. You must decide which you partake in. We are our own worst enemy for the most part and we need to be mindful of the thoughts we have about ourselves. Identifying a part of us that we would like to change is normal but harping on it is self defeating. If you're unhappy about something in your life build that "SELF CONFIDENCE" and change it. You'll be surprised what minor tweaks and subtle changes can do to build your self-esteem. Making subtle changes and adopting an appreciative opinion of yourself goes a long way and setting achievable goals for yourself will definitely assist in valuing your strengths. You cannot find self worth within someone else. Self esteem is internally driven.


Nicole out here throwing that Thang!!!

Can we please break down the Nicole Murphy and Antoine Fuqua fiasco??? Nicole and Lela... these two had to know each other and run in similar circles. Nicole put out a statement with B. Scott saying that she and Antoine were family friends and they were just saying hello because they were at the same event but I'll be damned if you say hello with 2 kisses on the lips!!! Also from the looks of the photos these look staged! Like she hired the photographer to hide out in the bushes and take the pics to leak her own story. Seems like she looked DEAD into the camera to me! Not once... but twice! She's been single supposedly for a while and if you're sleeping with a "family friend" and tired of the secrecy wouldn't you want his wife to conveniently find out?! I honestly believe she set the narrative. YESSS honey... she's sipping her OWN tea! She's too old for all this but best believe she knows what she's doing!

I feel sorry for Lela who deleted both her Twitter and IG after these pictures came out. It's been reported in the past that Lela's aware of her husbands infidelity however I'm sure she wasn't expecting it to be NICOLE!!! Lela has worked with Nicole's ex-husband on Harlem Nights so there is a loose connection there. Regardless Nicole definitely knows that man is married. Lela and Antoine have been married for twenty years and saying that he's a family friend well that too in itself is all types of messy. Lela has every right to be waiting at LAX in the arrival section. I know I would!

Come on now Lela... you better show up some where! 

UPDATE: Nicole put out a statement saying "I want to apologize to my family and to Lela and the fuqua family for what transpired... it was not my intention to be in this situation... I too was once married and I would never intentionally undermine another woman, despite what has been written". 


No New Friends... Not so fast!

I'm a loner. Have been for a long time and I'm okay with that. However I do understand that there is a difference between being a loner and having no friends what so ever. I stumbled upon this video and I get the message but I think it can be misconstrued because we're all social, interconnected beings. If you think you don't need social contact then you're mistaken. That's exactly why being in solitary confinement drives people insane and is cruel inhuman punishment.

With the increase in social media usage and just modern society as a whole, the disconnected factor has been very prevalent. More people than ever before feel they are lacking a deep connection with others are are  lonely. The lack of friends/relationships are leading to an increase in depression. So much so that we're all starting to believe that it's okay and a sign of strength to not need people. Or we have a bunch of meaningless fleeting connections and instead of just being "friendly" with just anyone it's best that we seek out real connections. Depression can be a byproduct of loneliness and it can also lead to other things such as alcoholism and self harm. Therefore preaching that being solo and not finding connections is harmful.

The innate need for relationships and sincere bonds are real and it's the very reason why we notice the void. It's also a reason why pet ownership is up. As society it's normal to feel misunderstood occasionally and we my feel alone from time to time but it shouldn't be long term.We even seek out nurturing relationships with pets and we view pets as a way to fill a void. It's exactly why people feel their pets are a part of their family because they've bonded. We're starting to believe that it's okay to be alone on a prolonged basis and it's not. This is different from being comfortable with your own company. Temporary isolation and time for self-reflection is great. However having meaningful relationships assist us develop as a well rounded individual. We learn about ourselves from our interactions with others and life lessons like selflessness, compassion, strength as well as discovering our patients and tolerance levels. 

Khloe's breakdown on the finale of KUWTK... and Jordyn and Kylie

I'm back bitches!!! Sorry for the hiatus but sometimes I just don't feel up to it with all that's going on in the world... well... MY own personal world. Life can get sooo complicated but regardless. Let's chat!

I'm not a KUWTK fan and haven't watched the show in forever but I do want to see the finale of their last season with the blow up of Jordyn and Khloe. If I had to choose which of the sisters I liked the most it would have definitely been Khloe. Up until she said some questionable stuff about getting her daughter a "mixed" doll. That irked the shit out of me because there is no such thing as a "mixed" doll. There are lighter hued dolls with different textures of hair to symbolize but there are no mixed dolls. Hell... her daughter is black. Once she enters the world her daughter will carve out her own existence from how she's treated and I'm certain she'll experience some questionable behavior that will help her self identify. That's what people who have mixed children don't get. You may have one ideal of what your child is based on YOUR experiences but I guarantee you... based on how your child "looks", they'll have their own set of experiences that will certainly shape their world which may be completely different from your own experiences and a lot will be based on race. Especially in America and no amount of wealth or fame can protect you from others hatred. Besides for Khloe I just thiink she picked a disrespectful lowdown dog to try and start a family with. We're not even going to speak on the fact that when she meant him he already had a pregnant girlfriend! Tristan's ex said that Khloe knew full and well that they were together because she saw them at a wedding together. To be exact she saw them together at her cousin's wedding to Kevin Hart. Probably where he pushed up and she fell for it. Soooo in that case you win some/lose some. Make better choices!

I'll try to catch the episode but one thing that poignantly stuck out in my mind was that Kylie lost her closest friend during all of that and for whatever reason that really bothered me. Friends are hard to find! At least
real ones and you could hear in her voice on the clip when she's talking to Kim and she starts to cry that she's hurt because she saw her friend hurt. That's love!!! Regardless of what happen between Jordyn and Tristan what you're witnessing is a loss. I think Kylie needed her friend because as we've all seen they have spent countless time together. When you've seen Kylie in the past you've definitely seen Jordyn. At her birth, on vacations, during her holiday post and even in her home as Jordyn lived with her.  I'm sure that's been a very emotional experience for them both and no matter how many new pictures they post showing they've moved on they are still going through it. I now follow Jordyn myself on IG because I think she was bullied during that entire thing but was she wrong??? DEFINITELY! 
There is a girl code that no matter how old you are you're suppose to know. However being friends with Kardashian's probably didn't help her in learning that lesson beforehand because they don't follow girl code themselves. You cannot fault a girl for following your playbook. You're just angry that she did it to YOU.

I had an ex-friend who had her own questionable behavior with that exact thing once she had her two children that are mixed. She said that her daughter's school picked on her and labeled her daughter the problem child and she thought that maybe it was due to her daughter being mixed. Well... not sure if that is it but it definitely could be but either life will play out and she'll hear of questionable scenarios that will clearly be race related that you cannot protect your child from.