What Really Grinds My Gear

You know what really grinds my gears??? When I see people who deserve more but choose to hold themselves back because of the baggage they keep. This goes for a lot of different scenarios but the one we'll discuss in particular is the easiest one to change and that is relationship baggage.  Are you in a one sided relationship? Or do you feel as though you love "your partner" more than they love you? If so then it may be time to cut your loses and move on. You may not want to hear this but too often people spend entirely too much time and energy trying to salvage a relationship that isn't worth the time and time is your most precious gift. I think we've all fallen victim to this at some point or another in our lives while we were discovering relationships but to often people get stuck in this same pattern either with the same person or the same type of people that you choose to let be a part of your life.

There's rules to this! Who we let into our lives is a choice and we need to be rigid on the type of people we let in our personal circle because our chosen relationships can make us or break us and I do mean this literally. If your personal life is in order and you have the right people in your corner, it really does help you achieve greater success in other aspects of your life. In particular if you have a partner who is not serving you well, we tend to spend too much time trying to please that person and their needs despite the fact that you're loosing value time and energy that could be better served on something else or someone else.  We all see it too often when someone gets stuck in a one-sided relationship because they don't want to be single or lonely only to be extremely lonely and depressed. Don't do this to yourself and stunt your growth in other areas of your life.

If you're not on the same page then cut them. If you're in a relationship and the people closest to you tell you that its the wrong relationship... then listen. It's a funny thing how people who are in a situation can't see the struggles or internal issues involved in their own lives but clearly see it in someone else. We tend to distorting the truth or try and rationalize another persons actions based on things we think they mean or something they implied versus their actions. Perfect example may be this scenario: your partner tells you to not post pictures of them on social media because ... (fill in the blank with a bunch of crap). No matter how you spin it, they don't want to be associated with you because it will complicate something else they have going on in their lives. So you comply rationalizing it in your mind instead using common sense. If it doesn't complicate your life then why would it complicate theirs? Either way they are trying to hide you and you don't need it.

Same goes for friends. This happens a lot as well. If you feel you're doing too much to maintain your friendship or that you're being taken advantage of then most likely you are and you don't need it. Cut ties and make room for new people who fit your into the scope of your life. There is nothing wrong with having people around that fit your needs. Example if you have big family obligations and you have single friends that don't really have the same responsibilities then limit your interaction to fit what suites you best. If you both like movies or you like to go to happy hour twice a week then limit that interaction to just those events with that person. I tell my kids all the time to categorize their friendships. The more you grow the less free time you have so make wiser choices about how you spend your time and with whom because time is your most valuable asset!

Don't Change. Please never try to fix someone or change someone to be your ideal person. This never works out in your favor. Also how you start a relationship is how it will end so if you start out being a doormat people will expect you to be a doormat for the rest of their interactions with you. On the contrary don't change yourself either to try to conform to what you think someone else will like. Don't try to change your image or your body type or anything about you unless it's for your own personal growth and a goal you're personally trying to achieve to live a better life.  Most communication is non-verbal and people will sense that there is something not genuine about you if you try to force things and this will turn them off. Be true to your unique self at all time.