We all believe that we love ourselves but how do you really know? We show love through our actions and sometime our actions aren't aligned with what we say we believe. I read a quote recently that said self-esteem comes from esteem-able acts and you teach yourself how to love yourself by how you treat yourself, how you talk to yourself and having a loving individuals who show you regularly the reflections of your love. Self love needs to be practiced everyday and there are a few easy techniques that you can do that you're most likely already aware of but never practice so I've compiled the list for you. One thing I've noticed throughout the years is that when you've become accustomed to loving yourself properly and someone tries to enter your circle who doesn't honor that love you have for yourself, it's so much easier to detect it and to cut ties. You may stumble upon a relationship that you think is a good fit but there is something that just isn't clicking. This is normal and happens often. You meet people and at first you may think you really like this person but over time your radar goes off and you notice little things that show you they really aren't aligned with your value system and if you truly love yourself, you will cut them off. You'll have no choice in the matter because your brain will tell you nope, this will not work and you just cannot do it no matter how much you may think you like an individual.
Here are some methods to help you fully transform or fine tune your self love.
1) Improve how you talk to yourself. That includes releasing all those negative thoughts you have about yourself. When we concentrate too much on the negative things that have happen to us or you concentrate too much on what you could have done instead of what you actually did takes a toll on our self-image. It's normal to replay things in your mind but doing this evaluation too much is counterproductive to our self-image and besides you cannot change the past. If you had an experience that you wish had gone differently then acknowledge it and make the decision that a similar situation will not happen the next time. That's all you can do. Beating yourself up about it and calling yourself names doesn't help. Saying things like "I'm so stupid" or "why are you always last or a failure" is not beneficial to you. Instead if your going to be critical say things like wow... that was a learning experience and then decide how you would do it different if a similar occurrence happens and then
LET IT GO. You have new experiences ahead. Also say little affirming positive statements to yourself. THIS IS CRITICAL! Notice positive things about yourself and acknowledge them and if you want build on them. Accentuate those points you love about yourself but most importantly tell yourself something positive daily. You're a sexy smart complex individual and you need to tell yourself that OFTEN. This will take time before it becomes second nature but it will eventually. The reason it takes some time is because you have to reprogram yourself. It takes time to alter a habit and negative thoughts about yourself is a habit you've built up over time.
2) Ween yourself out of toxic relationships. Those people who you know are not conducive to your
You need nurturing relationships with people who respect you and care about you.
You both add value to each others lives spiritually or emotionally and if that's not true then it's time to make a change. This goes for friends, spouses and relatives. I don't speak to relatives who don't bring me joy when we're together.
overall object need to go. It doesn't need to be a clean break because most of us aren't able to make a swift clean break away from people who we're close to but it needs to be done. Gradually start shifting your patterns. For example if you see this person everyday then change up your routine. Start taking a class or going to the gym during that time you normally have designated for the toxic person or people. Change up your routine slowly then increase the time apart and at some point you'll have the courage to make the complete switch.
3) Honor yourself and do things that make you feel good. Honoring yourself is two fold to me. When I say honor yourself one part of that is to honor your body. Take care of your body because it's your temple. Do things that build your temple up and make it a fine tuned machine. Exercise, dance, move and stretch. Make it the best body you can within your own limitations. Then the second part of honoring yourself is to do things that feed your soul and your inner peace. Be happy with yourself knowing that you are truly living and allowing yourself to be free. Take classes and discover new things that make you happy. Try this exercise: go on Groupon and find 2 things that you would like to try and do them. I'll tell you one of mine... it's to get eyelash extensions and the other is to take a Sangria class. It may seem simple but it's something that I want to do. I also stopped going out so on Saturday, I'm going to visit a lounge just to revisit that feeling.
4) The last thing that I'll include is to map out where you want to be. I've written about this before with my post on the benefits of keeping a journal
work-life-balance USBFF. When you get into a car you aren't aimlessly driving no where. When you go to the grocery store most times you know exactly what's on your list. So I use those examples to point out that you need direction. Don't just aimlessly go through life letting your days blend together with no true directly. This is the biggest component that leads to unhappiness and dissatisfaction with yourself. You allow outside elements to control you instead of the opposite way around.
The easiest way to set that compass and guide is to write it down. Know your goals and what you want to accomplish and set out a plan to accomplish them. You can start light with only a few goals like what you want to accomplish this week then do that week to week and see if you hit your targets. After you notice you're doing it correctly then expand those goals to include more long term goals and make sure you are evaluating your progress because it can be easy to loose focus.
If you follow these few simple rules you'll be well on your way to true self love, higher self-esteem
and the by-product will be a real sense of happiness. People will love being around you because we're spiritual by nature and most communication is non-verbal so people will just gravitate to you because they'll sense your inner peace. You'll notice you will start smiling more but that smile will be because you will be content with yourself. So I wish you much success on your journey and remember that it's never to late to start carving out a new path for yourself.
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