What Makes a Good Guy?

Today's my last day on the job. I'm finally calling it quits at a job I've been at for 9 years and to me, it's definitely time to go on to new adventures. You learn what you can from experiences and then move on. Life should always be moving forward and we should be learning from each experience. Same goes for relationships. You should be learning what you like and what you don't like in every relationship that you have and with that said the topic of discussion on the radio today during my final 1 hour commute was do women really like 'good guys' which was loosely related to the engagement of Ciara and Russel Wilson. I personally feel if two people who have both lived and experienced life and have found each other then it's no ones business as to what makes them happy. I was shocked to read online that so many people find issues with their union because Russel is supposedly "a good guy" and that implies that Ciara is somehow not worthy of such a catch or damaged goods because she has a child. Well let's dissect this one together shall we.

Let me start by asking this question... what are the defining factors that makes a man "a good guy"? If you happen to date someone with a child that doesn't make you a good person. Not everyone is built to have deal with children who aren't theirs but that's just a matter of knowing yourself. What most people assume are good guy qualities are based on how many women he's been linked to and if he's considered inexperienced  or green when dealing with the opposite sex but really does that make a person good? Crazy can come in many variations which include awkwardness when dating so don't ever assume someone is "good" because they seem less experienced than you.

Then there is the assumption that women somehow overlook "good guys" until they are financially stable and can assist them monetarily. This is where my opinion varies a bit. Are there some women out there looking for a come up from men??? YES there are some but there are also guys who look for specific women after they've achieved a certain level of success too. A trophy bride as they're labeled but that too is debateable because who really wins when a relationship is based on superficial aspects? But that's another topic for another day. This is about stating that women tend to not date "good guys" but I don't agree and I think this is an extremely general statement. Also your preference changes as your life evolves. Characteristics that you were attracted to at 20 should be different from what you're looking for at 30. It's a sign of progression and if it hasn't changed then you're life isn't progressing.

I think women look for men who have unique interest and focus outside of the relationship that make them more inclined to like any guy. Typically when women consider a man to be a "good guy" or too nice, what she is saying is that he doesn't seem interesting.  When your primary focus and attention includes nothing else besides the person you're dealing with, it's a turnoff for most people and this goes for both women and men. The clinger is no challenge unless you're specifically looking for that type. You have to have your own identity and unique characteristics to peak someones interest. You can talk to yourself if you're not interested in having an engaging conversation.  It sounds crazy when you think about it in those terms but basically that's what it is. In the case of Ciara and Russel he clearly has other interest. He's also been married before and clearly knows what he's looking for in a spouse which leads me to believe he's no where near "green".  As far as him being a good guy well we don't know but clearly he makes choices and doesn't allow the opinion of others to sway him which are more leadership qualities than anything else. And we all know the world needs more leaders because followers come a dime a dozen. 

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