What does Marriage mean?

There has been subtle shifts that I've noticed in how people view marriage. Increasingly so people are putting off marriage and more disturbingly, once married, some people feel trapped in what they consider to be the wrong choice in life partner. It's natural to question decisions but the problem with marriage isn't necessarily a problem with your choice but more often a sign of internal conflict. The trick is realizing the true source of your discontent. This is something that I've overcome myself throughout my own relationship when at times I've categorized the feeling as a sense of boredom and felt the slight urge that I may have been missing out on something which couldn't be further from the truth. The man I choose to share my life with is absolutely perfect for me but I didn't always have this appreciation.

It wasn't until I took a 3 day trip to the woods of Arkansas on business  retreat that I changed my entire perception on things. The entire concept was based on HOW we perceive things versus how we feel external influences impact us and despite the fact that we primarily focused on business, the overall theme is true across all aspects of life. We are in control of how we process our experiences and that in turn assists us in making clearer decisions and most of all being happy with ourselves. You cannot control people but you can definitely control how you respond to people and how you in turn let those experiences impact you. During our many meetings, the founder of the organization told us a story of how he has been married twice and during his first marriage, after the initial lust wore thin, he thought she was no longer the right person for him. Just to turn around a few years later and marry his current wife who in many ways were similar to the first and he realized that the problem wasn't with his relationship at all but rather within himself. He said he came to the realization that he was the problem the entire time or better yet, his thoughts and perception of what he felt marriage should be was the source of his discontent so he changed his thinking.

We're taught early on that marriage and relationships are to be this volatile love affair that should be highly climatic and as we grow we start to envision what we want in a mate. These notions of who or what we envision for ourselves block our blessing. This is especially true for women but the real value to be added is to work on growing yourself and finding your true essence so that you can be the best partner and potentially parent to whomever it is that you bond with. All relationships evolve and to be honest, if you're married the true benefit of marriage is the bond that you're forming with someone else so that you're not facing all the obstacles of adulthood alone. Think of it as the ultimate tag team experience because honestly that is what it evolves into. After the initial butterflies are gone and the lust steadies out, a tag team full of love and shared collective experiences is the core of it. You travel the road together so that it's not so overwhelming solo and that's the true beauty of a great relationship. Another byproduct of a great relationship that is rarely discussed is that you still have the opportunity to find things that help grow your own individual spirit. You should have a life of your own that you grow and nurture in addition to your family life.

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